English exam

( I wrote this as soon as i came home after writing my 2nd year English exam meaning to post it, I didn't but now i am. Better late than never I guess )

ENGLISH EXAM

There were all these poems of Shelley and Keats and Tennyson and short stories of Tagore and Dickens and Spender it was a treat preparing for the exam.

So somehow after a quick last minute prep. i reached the exam hall. Since it was the first exam and all, i went pretty early to the hall. I sat there opened my books, closed them, revised, again opened,again closed, paced this way and that way. Finally i kept my books away, closed my eyes, put my head on the knees, shut my ears and did a breathing routine. Then i brought my head up and suddenly my eyes fell upon this girl (of an average height, conventionally speaking normal looks, long hair with lots of flowers) who kept on looking at the gate as if waiting for someone, just as i saw this, Turutu ruttutu...hero entered...what hero carrying?..her hall-ticket...who hero? ....her husband...newly wed i guess...she..looked looked..he looked looked...slow-motion.. she went went...he came came...not taking eyes off each other... she slow slow fluttered her lashes..he slow slow smiled..she totally leaning on him...he..looking lost lost...eyes dreamy dreamy..screaming love both of them...prelude to a kiss that didn't happen...he suddenly gave her the hall ticket which she took and opened her book and started preparing. It was then that i remembered that i was supposed to be tensely waiting for the exam to start. I once again recollected the names of all the authors and stuff. Received my 'All the best', calls, which I'm pretty senti. senti. about. breathed in and out. Checked the list they were pinning up for my hall number ( It was 3, i like the number 3. so i considered it a good sign, b.t.w. i condemn signs and crap all the time, but when it comes to exams, mmhmm..everything affects me.) and went into the hall. I checked my hall-ticket,sat in the place i was allotted (which b.t.w. is a tiny wooden chair) in a well-lit room and checked my watch( the watch belongs to my grandfather, another sentiment). The exam still had five mins to begin...two feet away from me, there was this guy with sparkling eyes, curly hair, a few pounds over-weight, he looked at me and smiled, being polite i smiled back, he asked me " baa prepare ayyava?" (did you prepare well?) I was like " parledu" ( not bad). He just bluntly asked me " exam lo chupistava?" (will you help me through the exam), i said no, he said selfish, i said thankyou, he said " nenu ee exam lo pass avvadam nee kistam leda?" ayya baboi emanna senti. na. I wasn't responding, so he just continued like...ee exam lo fail aite na life waste avtundi, enduku chupinchavu, nuvvu chala selfish, etc.etc. Because i still wasn't responding, he paused for a moment and used the philosophical and logical side of his mind and told me " knowledge is meant for sharing, enta panchite anta perugutundi" Ay baboi! vadi teliviki tattukoleka li8 teeskunna, intalo exam start ayyindi. Adento na kharma, na qs. paper kasta egiri vadi daggara padindi...nenu teeskune lope he picked it up and wouldn't give me..one-side he pulling pulling, one-side me pulling-pulling fully tensed, what if someone sees and thinks im helping him copy, what if this leads to insufficient time, etc. etc. the guy just won't leave the paper, he was asking me "please, please, idioms okkati cheppava, pls pls" baboi, chivariki elagola teeseskuni, malli atu chudakunda exam raasesanu.Just as i gave aways the paper and was coming out, he started targetting the invigilators now, they were of my age, and he was like. im older than you, you have to listen to elders, tell me this one thing, the exam time was over and he just refused to give the paper, he wasn’t even writing! just resting his elbow on the paper with the pen in his mouth and thinking. Anyway, i wrote well, wrote everything and just came out all jumping and silently screaming " flying colours" cmon yaar, it was english, I’m from cbse, it'll obviously be easy and there was this aunty who was loudly crying crying over the shoulder of another aunty. so loudly, as if the world came to an end, and i, the insensitive moron stood 3 feet away, called everyone and jumped up and down screaming i did my exam well over the phone soo.. loudly, i probably didn’t even need the phone. They stopped for a second and looked at me like i was some assassin fresh from a murder dripping with blood..ok. maybe not that much, but seriously, real bad looks...i shut my mouth and went out, dad came to pick me up, we went home, i was happy, so i bought a chocolate fantasy pastry for bro. and some cutlet ragda for me and went home, started telling my bro. all that i told you in almost the exact some words. Except, they were completely in telugu.

Now, the moral of the day, the point i want to tell you through this ordinary musing is, life's a comedy when the exam goes well, a tragedy if it doesn't.