Kids

 

I think I like kids. But I like imagining kids more than actually meeting them.

You see, sometimes, you meet those kids who have seen more than they should have or heard things they shouldn't have. And they don't know what to do with all that they have seen or heard or they end up using them at random things and random people. I have been the random person sometimes and it makes me all irritated. Some part of you is sorry for them, but most part of you feels guilty for something you didnt do. So you want to run away from that kid. You hope you can always avoid her. And when you're staying in these apartments waiting for the lift and these kids with divorced parents come around you and catch your leg.. believe me, their eyes and ears know a lot.. but their tongues don't and they say something they aren't supposed to say and they don't know it. They expect you to be surprised or something but all you feel is grossed and irritated..or at the most pitiful. And it isn't easy to pity a thing as heartless as a naughty kid, they'd use it to twist you to get what they want. And in while you lose all that pity and end up again avoiding them.
But not all kids are so, some are there. Real sweet and polite. You like them a lot and you don't know what to do with all that liking.
And there are those kids timid and frail, who if you say 'bow' a little too heavily would run up half a mile and hide behind those pillars and peep at you timidly. If you happen to pass by then on your way home near the lift, they kinda stick their chin down and look at you like they're afraid you might harm them. You'd just want to take 'em in and hum sweet and sing to them till they start singing along. You'd want to do anything they name just to have 'em not look at you like that, all cautious. But they wouldn't speak, and you'd end up asking if they had their dinner or givin them a chocolate and not knowing what else to do when they nod their head and take a step back.  Then you'd go away, walking a little fast or a with a conscious attempt to lower your pace to your house. Because, more than chocolates or anything, your absence gives them a more free movement.                                                                                                                                              But there is just one creed of kids who can move you towards hating them. And you still can't hate them completely and it frustrates you. You know these over-smart kids who sass their parents, wear lip sticks, not in the kid way, but in the really well way. And you want to go an wipe it off their lips. And sometimes they make you feel sorry for them or something but then they don't let you feel sorry for long. And these kids can make any person angry easy, and when you look all angry, they don't smile like foolish kids, ice or  fear like sweet or timid kids, they look real contemptible. And the higher your anger goes, the higher their contempt. And you can't take it because the kid is winning over you. It sticks through yer ego. And they lose people after people like that. When these kids come and demand money or an eraser, almost anyone in the world except their parents would want to say no or some might even want to snatch it away after they've got it.  Why, I think even the parents want to say no, but they get tired of all those scenes and all and they say yes without meaning to more sweetly than necessary to keep the bonds unscathed.  
And then there are these tiny kids who simply look too cute to be hated. And they have these big eyes and all. They simply catch your heart. But then they don't know what to do with it. So they just play around and go away. And their mothers get all insecure or something and take 'em away from your arms. And some of them are even sweet enough to say they wont come to their mothers.. you'd feel all high, but you'd want the mother not to feel too insecure as after all they are the ones cleaning their diapers, so you kinda give 'em away. And they sorta look at you. It breaks your heart right away and you want to crawl up in a corner and never give him away. It happens you know. There was this baby whom I sang sleepy songs and rhymes to for hours on a cool summer evening with all that breeze floating around. I could tell you he enjoyed it. He is the only one who really enjoyed my singing you know. He even joined me...and tried to sing 'dancing bears and painted wings' and he not even once mocked at my accent or anything. He just went on smiling like that in white cotton clothes, smelling of baby powder and milk, and humming tunes with me. Even his weight was such a warm soft comfortable thing on the hands. And then, his mother tried taking him away and he wouldn't go. Man, I wanted to take him home right away. But then they played it all unfair, told him lies that they were going out and  going to see lorries and buy chocolates. Phonies, lied to him and took him away. The next time I saw the kid after months ... he knew how to walk and all..he didn't recognize me. He didn't remember me one ounce. And all these friends with me were shifting him from one to another, I didn't want to touch the kid ever again. I looked at him real slow and real long and went away to the ground to play. I didn't see him again. Thank god. I didn't.