Warangal and Laknavaram
Lol.. I went there looking for lots of water and moon light and I came back with something better and different.
By the way, this isn't an entry about the place, the place is a disappointment and has little or nothing to do with anything I have to say. Actually, the whole trek ended up as an excuse for socializing in the end.
The day before the trek, I considered my self a girl with a little rotten attitude, lots of cynicism and self-love. I was a happy person, crazily happy person, with little reasons to feel otherwise. I was there whenever my friends needed me, if I lifted the phone. I was so busy building up myself all the time.. I simply didn't care for anyone else. I didn't mean to hurt anyone wantedly.. but now even remembering so many names seems like pricking me.. I've been such an idiot to all of them. I'd go on treks, be friendly, laugh with them, share and completely open up to them.. and two days within my return.. they's disappear. I'd simply not care enough to call back to them when I see the dozens of missed calls. I wouldn't message them. I wouldn't acknowledge anything. And if by chance we come into touch again, I'd open up all over again and renew the friendship.. but most of them passed. We don't have many second chances and we don't live in movies where once we cut off from a person we end up meeting them again and again in streets and shopping malls till we make up with them.
It's not that I didn't care to support them or anything. It's just that I didn't care enough to show them they could have my hand when they needed me. Just that, sometimes to joke or while waiting at the bus stop, they would never think of calling me coz I made sure my time was not there for them.
The policies were very convenient. I'd live in the moment. Like everyone in the group picture. Smile and move on. In case someone tried to hold me beyond.. well, they never could. It was like the way I behave whenever something annoys me.. go into the room and close the door. Sometimes I wish I could go back. It's so simple. You give little and you expect negligible from any person and you like them always.
And then there was this trip..
the place was a disappointment. What was supposed to be some super deep lake turned out into ankle deep mush. Instead of the shady rainy weeks we've been having all month.. the sun screamed murder exactly on our appointed day with a clear bright and hot sky. While the supposed to be star studded night turned out into a cloudy dark night with almost no to not a single star status. The dried up lake area with tiny grass shoots were our exploration sites and the wonderful 1000 pillar temple of Warangal turned out into a little temple with lots of cuts.. that made it's wall look like pillars.. which btw weren't thousand or anywhere near it. The autos were amazingly slow or broke down in between the roads. Special offer says that our organisers have never been to the place out of which one can hardly even communicate with the localites. But I laughed through each and every moment of it. I don't believe in the reasoning that everything happens with a reason or for the better.. I just believe that things happen.. but dude, I tell you, this trek pushed me pretty close to believing it. Nothing came as expected in this trek.. everything was unexpected and more beautiful because it was unexpected. Friends, the cake, the mush, the moon light, the red wattled lapwing, the pictures, the plains, the grass, one little fire fly and all that laughter, so much so much of it bubbling and bursting through my throat.
There were moments when I felt so happy that everything that went wrong throughout the years, went wrong on purpose to make it happen. To make the days that followed the trek happen. To make my friends happen. Today, I can see them fade. See them get busy, see me go back slightly to my old ways.. but hell, I've never been the same as I was because I went there.
Because they taught me what an interesting thing life could be if people paid a little more concern towards each other. Showed each other sometimes how much they loved them. I've had so many amazing birthdays that till last year.. when it failed just once, just slightly, I realized how bad it could be.. and just when I was expecting another flop.. or rather.. fearing another flop birthday.. preparing myself to go away somewhere for that one day.. at 12 in the mid-night they came.. and boy, they gave me gifts.. lol.. I know it's a cliched thing to say.. but the gifts didn't matter one tiny bit as much as the thought that went into them.. the little details they took care of.. the powerpuff girls stickers, my pictures, the mug with Joey stuck in the left corner.. the mid night surprise.. mm.. wait a min.. this is about the trip right... gimme a minute..
Yeah, now going back to the trip.. I met those guys in the station.. as usual I started blabbering something, and blabbered, and blabbered and went on.. I gave poor Joey such a headache.. haha.. and there were Fuz, Satya and Vamsi, who'd always let me sleep on their shoulder.. Shweta.. who'd sing.. and sing.. and sing for so long.. you'd start wondering if it was a super power.. and the hi-powered dance through the songs...
And yeah.. there was this birthday celebration, mine and Poonam's celebrated a week early during the trek.. they carried the cake and all in secret.. and they waited for the moon to come out and gave me a blast.. and then there was the slushy mud bath they didn't say no to.. I love it about them.. they never say no to anything unreasonable as long as I don't hurt myself. And it's an important quality because it makes their yes's and no's matter. And for once, I let them matter. I don't know when it happened. But if they said no, I'd crib, whine, beg and everything, but I didn't do it. I didn't myself realize I liked them so much till I.. well, till I missed hearing them. Till I fell a little ill again.. and there was noone to tell me no or to complain to, or to crib to, or to care the way they do. The way I like best. Lol, I hated it pretty much, but now I miss them ruffling my hair.. calling me a boy... and all that..
And by making me care, and making me happy, they taught me how pretty life can be if cared for. And when you're as happy as that, you'd want to shout and tell the world thank you.. for keeping me so happy and making me feel so secure. You'd also want to tell them the lesson that you learnt, that shutting yourself out or calmly passing by observing is easy.. but you've got a life and you've got to do something with it, and when you have it only once why not live it completely... why not sing and let the people around you know you love them, why not cry when they don't show enough and start singing "hello, I love you" again.. sing, laugh, cry, sing is obviously more complete than sleep, see and sleep, sleep. People are a complication, one hellova headache when you start giving a damn about them but some complications complete life. :D
Monday, September 19, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Moving Out
Moving Out
By 6 in the morning tomorrow, it'll be a week since I moved in here. Contrary to the lies I told my friends, it took little to make my parents agree. Thanks to my brother's ways of convincing mom and my excellent room mates.
My first day here, I just came. I don't know.. it didn't feel very different or anything as I expected. Yes, I had a lot of apprehensions about the sharing concept.. like.. what if I lose count and eat more biscuts than my one third share.. will it be bad and all.. they didn't last long.
Hahha.. first thing I checked out as soon as I came here weren't the cupboards or the balcony with a lovely sunset view.. I went into the kitchen.. I didn't do anything much, just boiled a little water.. and that was enough. It was clean, cosy, had a few necessary utensils.. none too much to arrange or manage.. just enough and just properly used.. not too new and not too old. It felt like I belonged there. Everytime I wash the dishes there or cook.. as Anu says for hours and hours in my usual slow motion.. I'm humming tunes inside.. or smiling and thinking of nice stuff.
And then there were the shelves.. the lots and lots of empty book shelves, all neat and ready to show off my books. It was such a joy filling it up.. arranging my economics books, hard and spiral bound note books.. and the many little note books full of scribbles in the shelf.. and then there was a square cut stone pen stand I brought from home that went so cosily in.. it just fit there.. hah! And there were my oil pastels and ink pot and all that.. Honestly, I love keeping them there, looking at them and all so much.. that even though I know noone would want to read these pink simple details.. I just have to write it. They were the first things I arranged and while putting them in their new place, every bit gave me a feeling that I'd like to remember for a long time. Because it was a feeling new and nice. Lol.. I'm so damned proud of each thing in that shelf.. it's like a pot or a greeting card I've spent ages on and finished. Best part- it hardly took a couple of hours to put it all.
And then it was evening, I was alone and there was the balcony.. I just stood there, gazing and sighing.. sigh! Believe me, it's a mini-heaven in there. There's always this cool breeze blowing.. and there's the untrafficky main road we can see.. and beyond that.. unobstructed sky. It's tough to find it in the city.. but man, from our place.. you could see the horizon and the sky vertical and horizontally unobstructed :D!!!
Oh and now you come to a very ventilated room shared by the three of us with sunshine pouring in.. I stay at a double bhk flat.. and there's another room too.. except, all three of us like this room too much to go there.. it's just bright, airy and warm.
And then comes the best part, my roomies.. :) I doubt if any of the stuff I had written would even come close to positivity if my roomies weren't so good. It's like this.. any place is made pretty by the people we are with. When you live with a person you dislike, every minute at home can seem restless. Every little moment of entertainment can seem like an escape. And it blotches the entire memory. Though you can block them out, you cannot block out your guilt for not inviting them to the party or your annoyance for them never being able to be a part of the happiness you share with your other inmates. They will be a "but..." in the essay and mind, I guess.
Hahha.. now my roomies.. are fun, ethical people and pretty caring too. We sometimes go out for walks in the evening time.. and we look at the sky and rocks and talk about it.. talk about ourselves.. open up a bit.. close soon.. but still opening up even a bit to a one week stranger in your house is cool enough. And then we frequently cook together.. watch movies together till late night.. tease each other and all.. and if probably time froze at any point of such times, I'd rush to get a camera and take pictures of them, their 36 teeth showing smiley faces and the weird expressions they sometimes keep and then I'd take another picture of all of it together.. All three of us smiling, standing. I'd be in a corner, I still don't belong with them as completely as the place I live in.. But I know and I hope, strongly that I will. Because it's nice to be a part of their group. Happy, simple and self-reliable people.
Btw the road where I'd go out for walks.. that road.. I really don't know how to say it.. but it's scantily populated.. has nice pavements and if we walk just a little further.. there's a little lake and a small park to the right and to the left there are rocks and small boulders in bushes.. and from there you can see the view I like best- sexy sunset sky in all purple, orange, pink with hints of darkness and pale stars and the moon.. I like it here!
By 6 in the morning tomorrow, it'll be a week since I moved in here. Contrary to the lies I told my friends, it took little to make my parents agree. Thanks to my brother's ways of convincing mom and my excellent room mates.
My first day here, I just came. I don't know.. it didn't feel very different or anything as I expected. Yes, I had a lot of apprehensions about the sharing concept.. like.. what if I lose count and eat more biscuts than my one third share.. will it be bad and all.. they didn't last long.
Hahha.. first thing I checked out as soon as I came here weren't the cupboards or the balcony with a lovely sunset view.. I went into the kitchen.. I didn't do anything much, just boiled a little water.. and that was enough. It was clean, cosy, had a few necessary utensils.. none too much to arrange or manage.. just enough and just properly used.. not too new and not too old. It felt like I belonged there. Everytime I wash the dishes there or cook.. as Anu says for hours and hours in my usual slow motion.. I'm humming tunes inside.. or smiling and thinking of nice stuff.
And then there were the shelves.. the lots and lots of empty book shelves, all neat and ready to show off my books. It was such a joy filling it up.. arranging my economics books, hard and spiral bound note books.. and the many little note books full of scribbles in the shelf.. and then there was a square cut stone pen stand I brought from home that went so cosily in.. it just fit there.. hah! And there were my oil pastels and ink pot and all that.. Honestly, I love keeping them there, looking at them and all so much.. that even though I know noone would want to read these pink simple details.. I just have to write it. They were the first things I arranged and while putting them in their new place, every bit gave me a feeling that I'd like to remember for a long time. Because it was a feeling new and nice. Lol.. I'm so damned proud of each thing in that shelf.. it's like a pot or a greeting card I've spent ages on and finished. Best part- it hardly took a couple of hours to put it all.
And then it was evening, I was alone and there was the balcony.. I just stood there, gazing and sighing.. sigh! Believe me, it's a mini-heaven in there. There's always this cool breeze blowing.. and there's the untrafficky main road we can see.. and beyond that.. unobstructed sky. It's tough to find it in the city.. but man, from our place.. you could see the horizon and the sky vertical and horizontally unobstructed :D!!!
Oh and now you come to a very ventilated room shared by the three of us with sunshine pouring in.. I stay at a double bhk flat.. and there's another room too.. except, all three of us like this room too much to go there.. it's just bright, airy and warm.
And then comes the best part, my roomies.. :) I doubt if any of the stuff I had written would even come close to positivity if my roomies weren't so good. It's like this.. any place is made pretty by the people we are with. When you live with a person you dislike, every minute at home can seem restless. Every little moment of entertainment can seem like an escape. And it blotches the entire memory. Though you can block them out, you cannot block out your guilt for not inviting them to the party or your annoyance for them never being able to be a part of the happiness you share with your other inmates. They will be a "but..." in the essay and mind, I guess.
Hahha.. now my roomies.. are fun, ethical people and pretty caring too. We sometimes go out for walks in the evening time.. and we look at the sky and rocks and talk about it.. talk about ourselves.. open up a bit.. close soon.. but still opening up even a bit to a one week stranger in your house is cool enough. And then we frequently cook together.. watch movies together till late night.. tease each other and all.. and if probably time froze at any point of such times, I'd rush to get a camera and take pictures of them, their 36 teeth showing smiley faces and the weird expressions they sometimes keep and then I'd take another picture of all of it together.. All three of us smiling, standing. I'd be in a corner, I still don't belong with them as completely as the place I live in.. But I know and I hope, strongly that I will. Because it's nice to be a part of their group. Happy, simple and self-reliable people.
Btw the road where I'd go out for walks.. that road.. I really don't know how to say it.. but it's scantily populated.. has nice pavements and if we walk just a little further.. there's a little lake and a small park to the right and to the left there are rocks and small boulders in bushes.. and from there you can see the view I like best- sexy sunset sky in all purple, orange, pink with hints of darkness and pale stars and the moon.. I like it here!
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